Our first contest had a winner: Daron Fraley! Congratulations on being the randomly selected winner, Daron!

Now for another contest. I’m going to list some of the wild events, punishments, and rules from my youth in the cult- not all of them happened to me. I’m also going to include in that list ONE (1) event/punishment/rule that did NOT happen. I do this because it’s fun to look back on this stuff, not out of bitterness.

The first person to comment on this post with the item that did NOT really happen wins a signed copy of BEYOND THE CABIN. I’m not going to reveal the answer until next week, probably Monday, so start feeling the suspense. LOVE the suspense!

1. Stand in a corner for thirty minutes.
2. Dress as a clown, with makeup and all, and walk in a parade in Dallas, Texas.
3. Write 200 lines.
4. Sleep on blankets in a large room in a building in Manhattan- with 30+ other kids.
5. Go to room without dinner.
6. Finish off 12+ adults’ after-dinner wine- at the age of 5.
7. Stay at the table until the liver is eaten- even past midnight.
8. Use a stick and lots of shouting to drive a small herd of cows out of a peach orchard.
9. Play Eliot Ness in a cookie-themed home-movie rip-off of The Untouchables called The Inedibles.
10. Stand in a corner for 2 hours.
11. Participate in a cult-kid wide boxing tournament.
12. Build an awesome bike out of spare parts and spray paint it black.
13. Write 1,000 lines.
14. Spend 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, for 2.5 months during a summer, digging miles of 2-foot deep trenches for water supply lines- while listening to Van Halen and The Clash.
15. No listening to rock and roll.
16. Receive $20 from Grandma and spend it all on Tin Roof Sundae ice cream and Skittles.
17. Get spanked with a wooden spoon.
18. Get caught stealing bread from a bakery.
19. Do a singing performance for US-based supporters of the PLO.
20. Pet a cat named Waffen.
21. Nearly kill self and one other kid while learning to drive a stick shift on a remote highway in Arizona.
22. Get banished to a ranch in Arizona.
23. Learn to face down even the angriest of dogs.
24. Stand in a corner for 6 hours.
25. Fall off a ten foot tall jungle gym at the age of 4, knocking out one front tooth in the process.
26. Write 5,000 lines.
27. Scoop an actual ton of dog poop during five summers spent in the desert.
28. Write 10,000 lines.
29. Learn to drive a tractor and backhoe.
30. Go on a 24-hour vision quest in the Arizona desert with 1.5 liters of water.

Okay guys, weigh in: which one isn’t real?